Category Archive: Funny Stories

Tales from behind the scenes, between the whistles and on the road.

Jan 27

The Art of Chirping

There is one aspect to all sports that is as old as the game itself. Something so deeply rooted in the essence of competition that it becomes its own game in itself: the game within the game—chirping.  Chirping (aka “Beaking”, “Trash-Talking” or “Yapping”) is a skill not unlike skating, shooting or passing, and like any …

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Oct 24

The All-Time Hockey Movie All-Star Team

Although there haven’t been a lot of movies made about hockey (At least not that many good ones), there have been some great movies and some endearing and memorable characters.  All-time beauty Paul Newman was once quoted as saying that filming Slap Shot was his favorite experience as an actor and that the character of …

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Oct 07

6 Tips for a Better Healthy Scratch Experience

  There is no nice way to put it, being a healthy scratch sucks. Getting the tap from the coach after pregame skate to tell you that you won’t be in the lineup is like getting kicked in the balls. Walking into the room the day before a game and seeing your name penciled in …

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Sep 04

Beauty Buckets from the Last 40 Years in Hockey

 1.  The Gretzky Jofa   Wayne Gretzky could have worn a pompadour and it would have been cool. That being said, despite being no more protective than a baseball cap, the Jofa 235 is a classic. It’s like the Hell’s Angels bowl helmet of hockey.   2.  Goring’s Diaper   I had a teacher once …

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Dec 24

Ode to the World Juniors: ‘Twas the Day After Christmas

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Nov 30

Year 2026: A Look Back at the Rogers/NHL Mega Deal

  I wake up and am greeted by my automated Rogers alarm clock, complete with personalized celebrity voice greetings.  I chose Sam Elliott, who greets me every morning with a variation of his classic “Roadhouse” line: “Hey Amigo, wake up!  You’ll sleep when you’re dead.” Next, I logon to my wall-sized, touch screen day planner …

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Nov 09

From Stories of Late Night Escapades to Vasectomies and Baby Poop: The Natural Aging of Dressing Room Banter

Where did the time go?  It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was a 24-year-old man-child, living fast and chasing a lifelong dream of playing in the NHL.  I wore my hair long, fit comfortably into 34-inch waist designer jeans and I didn’t mind taking my shirt off at the beach.  I was young, …

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Oct 08

Skate Lace Hotel Prank

As a hockey player on the road, you find yourself with quite a bit of free time. Predominantly this time is used to relax and prepare for the upcoming game, but sometimes it is used to stir up mischief. One of my favourite pranks to perform on the road was the “Skate Lace Hotel Prank”. …

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Aug 26

Lost in Translation

  Heading to play over in Europe was definitely going to be an eye-opener. It was a new opportunity in a foreign land and it was a chance to step outside of my comfort zone and learn about a new culture. The first obstacle I knew I would have to tackle playing in Belgrade was …

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Apr 24

Kangaroo Court

Kangaroo Court is a common practice across many sports.  It is a way to “police your own” and from my experiences, a great way to promote camaraderie and a light-hearted atmosphere within your team.  When I was playing in the NCAA, Kangaroo Court was a big event every Wednesday after practice.  Our team had a “Fine Master” …

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